Early in September, I had a series of tests run to rule out thyroid cancer. The first time I heard the "c" word my heart plummeted to my stomach. All I could keep thinking is how from this point forward things were going to change. I spent the next few weeks journaling about how things would be different regardless of the test results.
Here is what I wrote on September 7, 2013.
No matter what the test results say, I will be different from this day forward. I will be quick to listen, slow to become angry, joyful , prayerful and hopeful for what the future holds. I will focus on the good not the bad. I will release my plans and live fully in the moment. I will cherish life to the fullest. I will make every opportunity to live in peace. I will let things go, forgive and move forward without looking back on the wrongs done to me. I will wake up early to see the sunrise. I will stay up late on the weekends to spend quality time with Jeff after Andrew goes to bed. I will teach Andrew as much about God's goodness as I can. I will write more. I will be a light in the darkness. I will laugh at the days to come. I will tell everyone that I love them and hold nothing back. I will sing. I will leave the dishes in the sink and dance a jig with Andrew. I will play cars, trains and read books as much as I can. I will soak up life's little moments. I will randomly buy a strangers meal in the drive through. I will give generously. I will cuddle more. I will read as many books as possible and write down my thoughts more. I will reach out to my neighbors. I will praise the Lord in the good times and the bad. I will love my family of three--knowing it's the number that the Lord has ordained. I will count my blessings. I will cherish each and every moment with my two boys--knowing I will not get this time again. I will cultivate a good life. I will surround myself with people who give and take in relationships and release those who don't. I will focus on the things that I can change and not spend my days worrying about the things I can not (or the people that I can not change) I will love my Lord and praise Him until the end for all that He has done and all that He is going to do.
"...from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find him. If you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul." Deuteronomy 4:29
"Hope in God." Psalms 42:50
"For I will satisfy the weary soul and every languishing soul, I will replenish." Jeremiah 31:25
"I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid." John 14:27
"In quietness and confidence is your strength." Isaiah 30:15
And on September 25, 2013 I received the call that I was 100% cancer free.
Thank you Lord for this journey!
Susan
