Marriage is not for the faint of heart.
It is hard and it requires a lot of work.
When I first met Jeff, I didn't like him. He didn't like me.
When we met the second time, we both couldn't wait for our second, third and fourth date. A few months in, I was smitten. I just knew he was The One.
I loved this man because he was stable. He treated me like no other man did in my life. We walked some heavy roads before we got married and I knew that he was someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with simply because he didn't leave when the going got tough.
He was and is a very good man.
In every marriage there comes a point where you realize that the warm and fuzzy feelings have faded and the real work has begun. We struggled a great deal those early years as we tried to mesh two flawed people into one unified marriage. As we tried each month to have a baby, we had to learn a valuable truth that was not easy for our hearts to grasp.
Our family was a complete unit the day we became man and wife.
As hard as those years were for us they were necessary building block years for what would come a few years later. We didn't always see eye to eye but we learned how to work together and found a nice rhythm that worked for the two of us.
Fast forward to our first year of parenthood. That year was ROUGH as we tried to find our way as parents. We were over the moon in love with our son and the place that God has brought us but deep down were struggling inside to keep it all together. Neither one of us wanted to admit to the other the depth of struggle since we had just received a long awaited miracle.
On Easter weekend in 2012, we found ourselves at a crossroads. We asked some tough questions and examined each of our parts in getting to where we were at that moment. The most important question we asked each other was if we were committed for the long haul. And if the answer was yes, were we willing to do whatever it would take to see us beyond this rough patch? We both agreed that not only did we want our marriage to survive -we wanted it to thrive.
We committed to growing individually in the Lord.
We committed to pray for each other.
We committed to putting our marriage first.
We committed to frequent date nights.
We committed to making family of 3 time a priority.
We committed to open, real communication when needed.
We committed to choosing joy--surrendering the plans we each had and just letting God lead us.
We committed to letting go of the past, starting fresh and walking forward in grace.
Our marriage has done a complete transformation since that Easter night. As we continue to grow, we can see God's hand in each and every moment and for that I am grateful.
To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death us do part.
